On Depression and Mail

I am going to the post office tomorrow.

this picture is one my dad took in miami. it really has nothing to do with this but it's pretty

Sometimes you wake up and you're different and it is okay.

I started saying that a few months ago, not really understanding why, but over and over again, people around me keep saying things like "you're different" or "your light is dim" and I don't know why, but I supposed maybe I am a little bit different.

I know it's important to keep my body moving and to keep creating art when I'm down. And I couldn't tell you why I came back to Kansas, but I did because I guess something in my heart knew that I needed to be home for a little bit.

Depression to me is like being the star in a show that is coming to the end of its last season. It is the flyer on the back of a bathroom stall with warning signs. It is eating only roasted things because a body feels precarious. It is being sorry that I am not a warmer thing for others, but not knowing how to get the warmth back.

this fb post about this vonnegut quote

I want to be five. I want to believe in Santa Claus. I want to have never had my first kiss.

I want to dance. To take a really long walk to a diner to have one coffee and then leave.

I want to see all of my friends who have died, or decided to be done with me, one last time.

I want to say hello to the entire world, as we pass each other on the sidewalk, and keep going, to nowhere in particular.

Tomorrow, I am finally going to mail those depop packages.